Monday, 19 February 2018


“…Don't write what you know. Find out what you know by writing...”

Read this quote somewhere and it led me to think….What do I know? How do you counter a perfectionist strain sewn deep in the fabric of your personality?

‘I am what I am’ – I see it on a famous branded T-shirt. Youngsters wear it proudly – but it makes me wonder, whether people even know their real selves.

Society doesn't allow our true nature to blossom.

Modern education kills it so thoroughly that we aren't even aware of that brutal murder.
You want to be better (read perfect) in your relationships. When you fail in it, you hold yourself guilty. You keep badgering yourself – that is where I went wrong. That is where I continually keep going wrong. Why can’t I get it right? Why can’t I be like the imaginary perfectionist I have in my mind?

That ideal girl! The prefect daughter, who worked hard and became a doctor, married a rich man, sits in her lush house – with her perfect social life. Is that what I really wanted? That perfect girlfriend/wife/mother/daughter-in-law – who can forgive anything under the sun – who is only giving, and wants nothing in return – is that I what I really want?

Who is ME? The real me – who has been hidden below the depths of fake persona which I am trying to be? She never got a chance to breathe. I need to explore my core and start discovering myself.

But now, as I have joined this course, life is taking a new turn; seems to me like I am on an exciting
uncharted territory. I am learning to set my feet on the ground. Beginning to feel that, in time I might be able to feel safe in my own skin, in my environment. This world, which partly I chose, was willing to accept me just the way I was, but perhaps I wasn’t ready for it.

May be the shy bud is about to open and bloom...

[Written in Oct, 2013]

No comments:

Post a Comment