Wednesday, 10 June 2015


I don't call myself a Feminist anymore, because I have seen how people misuse and abuse this term. 

A lot of times, women and women group confuse it with female chauvinism. I have seen women misusing 'freedom' and 'choice' in the name of feminism; their choices should be respected, but if the man chooses to do the same - he should be judged.

If both genders are equal - then how can only one gender demand special rights and privileges? 

There are countless such examples:

- If a woman slaps a man - he deserved it. But if a man slaps a woman - he is monster.
- If a woman abandons her children, it was her choice and she demands respect for it. But if a man abandons his children - he should be punished.
- If women have extra marital affair - it is their 'privilege', because her husband is a lousy jerk. But if the man has an extra-marital affair - he is a male chauvinist pig.
- If a woman shares a sexist joke making fun of men - it is acceptable and funny. But if a man makes a sexists joke - Oh! What a bumpkin!

The term feminism is often abused by women when they demand certain special rights - even while they claim they are equal. For these reasons, it is often misunderstood by men also.

When I had first heard of this term 'feminism', I was an adolescent. I remember even then, I had wondered - why this terminology was accepted by any sane person?

If people want to fight the patriarchy in the contemporary society, and demand equal rights for both genders, then the movement should be called 'Equalism' or simply human rights movement - because both genders suffer from stereotypes in patriarchy.

Patriarchy rules often tend to create suffocating roles for both men and women – men can’t cry, men shouldn’t be emotional, men cannot take care of children, men cannot love a child more than a woman, men should not take care of household chores, men should earn insane amount of money, man should be physically strong, men who dance are gay – there are endless examples of strict patriarchal effect men’s happiness and limits their growth as human being.

Both feminine and masculine qualities in a human being need to be equally respected. But they way ‘feminism’ is (mis)used – I don’t see that happening.

Neither gender is superior, both genders have their own set of weaknesses and strengths. I am for equal human rights, I am against special privileges to either gender. 

I have realized that one cannot fight patriarchy effectively by female chauvinism, and hence I am not a 'Feminist' anymore.


  1. I like the way you write. And your points are valid. But this ideology called feminism is now sunk so deep inside the society that most people wont even know what the term means and accept it as "This is how the society works"
    But the point is, why is it so strong. A layman does not accept concepts such as equilism as their way of thinking so easily. They behave in society as they see it and more importantly how they percieve what they see. With attacks on one gender, one caste or one social group being as frequent as everyday news, general perception has to favourite that group. And I am somewhat with this way of thinking. If one gender thinks they can anytime use their physical power against the other; I am not surprised that the other has found where her own power lies. And unless our society's way of thinking changes, I am afraid this will continue to get stronger. :)

    1. Thank you for sharing your views, yes I agree with what you wrote, but society cannot progress with oppression of either gender. Feminism has become a weapon to oppress men. Not so much seen in India as yet, but if you observe the West, the domestic violence laws, divorce laws, child custody laws - are all heavily biased against the men. That creates a further deep rooted divide between men and women. Only politicians benefit out of it. Family, moral values, humanity, equality and human rights in general at die a painful death.

  2. Good post. I also use the term "equalism", but it won't seem as valid coming from a man. Another example, it would seem, of the points you are talking about. I've heard so many arguments - "if you believe women should have equal rights, you should call yourself a feminist" - well I believe everyone should have equal rights, including minorities, legal immigrants, the disabled, etc. etc. - instead of having a term for each one of the, I say I'm just a humanist, because every group should have equal rights, and I don't necessarily feel the need to break it down into all the sub-groups that need them (which doesn't mean that they have them today, btw).

    1. Yes, I agree with you. We should all believe in equal human rights.
      Also, I have seen women ganging up and judging men when they point out the problems with Feminism, without even listening properly, the Feminists label men as 'male chauvinist' when they try to raise valid arguments against the feminist movement. That is why the term FemiNazi came into being, some feminists are very rigid in their views and do not allow any scope for discussion.

    2. Congratulations on a terrific post. I just chanced upon your blog via facebook and was tremendously impressed by your articulate critique of modern feminism. The women in my family, all educated and independent, my wife and children - three daughters - have all come to reject what they've perceived as the 'radical goals' of feminism. By default then, I became the 'feminist' in the family, arguing for the moral equality of women that I had always believed to be the essential goal of feminism. But I know that you're right when you identify chauvinism in more contemporary versions of the movement. It has become hostile to formerly supportive individuals and groups that happen to be male or transgender or from more traditional societies. In any case, I intend to share your essay and to adopt 'equalism' or perhaps the humanism suggested by one of your respondents as the standard to which we should aspire. All the best!

    3. Thank you for sharing your views, yes I have gradually come to change my mind about feminism. I do believe in working for more equality in society, but it is scary to see the direction it has taken, esp in the Western countries - the domestic violence laws, divorce laws, child-custody laws - all heavily biased.
      The self-confessed feminists want us to believe that "the 50% of the human race is being oppressed" - Unfortunately, when they paint things in black and white. and over generalize things - it creates a victim-hood mentality in the women, it becomes a war between men and women.
      I firmly think that women are not the only victims of patriarchy. Feminism should mean gender-equality, but to most of its followers and adherents, it means only women’s rights. In order to make things fit in that agenda, the feminist propaganda gives a lop-sided view of things.

      Therefore feminism is not the answer to any of our problems. In fact in some of its current avatars (#killallmen, male tears etc), it is a kind of sexism. It is facilitating a deep rooted divide between men and women. The outcome of such movements cannot be beneficial for either gender.

  3. Ur views do sound fine. But I wnt to ask your opinion on adultery? And the laws based in India which state that nly men can be punished for it? Do you agree that a woman can go out and commit such acts and still nt b punished?

    1. Thanks for your comment.
      I personally think that law should not discriminate against either gender.
      But the adultery laws in India are even more twisted. I gather by your comment that you are a little confused about the adultery law.
      Neither husband, nor the wife can be punished in case of adultery. In fact, there is no law under which a married woman can file a case against her husband if she finds him cheating on her.
      But a married man can file a case against the lover of his wife.

      According to section 497 of I.P.C. Section-497- Adultery “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case, the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.”

      Section-498- Enticing or taking away or detaining with criminal intent a married woman “Whoever takes or entices any woman who is and whom he knows or has reasons to believe to be the wife of any other man, from that man, or from any person having the care of her on behalf of that man, with intent that she may have illicit intercourse with any person or conceals or detains with that intent any such woman, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years, or with fine, or with both”.

      These laws, which were made in the British Era need to be changed. If we, as a society, condemn marital infidelity, we need to have laws which are not biased against either gender.