How to talk to children about war and why is it important
A 6 year old boy quietly asks his mother in a quivering voice, "Mamma, will we all die soon? Will the world end?"
His mother, scrolling through her phone, looks up in shock and says dismissively, "Where do you even hear such nonsense?"
In the background a TV reporter is shouting on the screen:
YES! ALL THE ASTROLOGY SIGNS POINT OUT THAT THE WORLD IS ENDING ON 25TH MAY!
WORLD WAR III SEEMS INEVITABLE NOW AS INDIA PAKISTAN SITUATION ESCALATES!
Just take a look around you - doomsday news galore! Various mass media outlets - be it radio, TV, WhatsApp messages/videos, YouTube, Instagram and other social media - the catastrophizing news is surrounding us from all sides.
What many adults (including parents and educators) do not realize is that children have a different way of processing information than we have. They take almost everything in a literal sense and do not understand the nuances of exaggerated or speculatory aspect of the news.
When war, news of terror attacks, or military conflicts make constant headlines, it can cause agitation and confusion in children and teenagers.
They often believe in many sensational and outlandish rumors which seem too unreal to our adult brain. Subsequently they may develop fears or anxieties which may interfere with them feeling safe and happy.
In such times it is crucial for parents and educators to take out some time to ease their sense of uncertainty and re-instill the feelings of safety and security.
Some tips to connect with your children during times of wars/terror attacks:
- Ask them what they think is happening around them
- Calmly inform them that a war/terror attack has happened
- Assure them that the police/army/government is working round the clock to keep them safe
- Remind them that they can come and talk to you in case they hear a rumor or have a doubt
- Teach them some mantra/prayer/bhajan/aarti according to the faith and values of your family (hanuman chalisa, ik omkar or simply ॐ chanting)
- Teach them simple deep breathing exercises (inhale from nose, while counting to 3 and exhale from mouth while counting to 4)
Please remember to use age-appropriate language with children.
Small children (aged 2 - 10) do not need to know the graphic and brutal details as it might scare them unnecessarily. Use reassuring tone with them to make them feel safe.
Teenaged kids can be trusted enough to have some level of details and need to know the truth from their parents during uncertain times. Ask them what they have seen or read on the internet and take time to explain that speculative news is not the reality.
Children become more resilient when they are comforted and guided by us.
